I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
