hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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