I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
