how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
We had to coat check the pizza.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
