worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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