the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
