Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
