maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
