i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I could fuck to npr.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
