New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
