We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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