ya dads aren't the best wingmen
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
