Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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