Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize