Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
