Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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