Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
