I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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