Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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