I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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