A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize