Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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