OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You need Xanax blowdarts
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
