i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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