so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
