Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
