i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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