I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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