You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
