How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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