if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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