I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
