she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize