How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize