Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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