just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
