I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
