Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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