Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
