So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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