It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
