Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize