I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
