I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
