quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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