i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
