Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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