I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
