Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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