We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
