so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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