i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
