actually, I'm a sock model
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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