I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
