Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
