I accidentally burped into my bong.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize