I heard we made out
never play flip cup with pint glasses
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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